|
|
|
| |
| |
| #0000116 |
The worst thing I've ever done is...
Made an entire restaurant/bar full of people retire to thier hotel rooms by 1030 on New Years eve! I remember nothing but apparently i completed this task firstly by joining in (ruining) a traditional African dance put on for the punters. Secondly by trying to force people who didnt like tequila to drink tequila (I was persuasive to the point they left.) After that i offended a couple more people by slouching semi concious in a chair and dribbling on the floor, occasionaly waking up to gob out a load of spittle! My final party trick which cleared out the place once and for all was while the remaining few couples were just finishing their dinner i decided to have a lengthy piss off the side of the open sided restaurant into the sea below! Although Karmically speaking it was OK because i later went to a party and got beat up ... twice!
But the best thing I've ever done is...
Teaching English in a Kenyan orphanage, challenging but very rewarding! Cost a bloody arm and leg to do as well! |
-1
 |
| #0000113 |
The worst thing I've ever done is...
I once killed a fox with a tire iron. I had shot it with a rifle, and it was dying so I wanted to finish it off quick, and carried a tire iron for this purpose. But it didn't kill it immediately, or at least it went into spasms and stuff, so I hit it like seven times. That was pretty harsh. Sometimes I get scared because even though there's no reason to belive killing that fox gave me an erection, I can't remember if I had one or not. I mean I probably didn't, but you never know.
But the best thing I've ever done is...
One time some little gay guys in a bar were getting hassle off this huge football playing meathead - huge as in 6 foot 8 (I know 'cause he was in the papers a few months later because he raped some girl) - and I stepped in and told him to calm down and leave. I'm like 5 foot 6. He did calm down and leave, I think with hindsight because he recognised me as his friend's son, but I had no idea who he was at the time. But it worked, and I saved the day, and one of the gays tried to buy me a drink but I turned him down because a hero doesn't accept payment. |
-6
|
| #0000111 |
The worst thing I've ever done is...
I've been faking a mental illness since I was 14, at first just so i could get a girl to like me but I won't lie, the benefit payments make life a lot easier. It's come back to bite me on the ass though as I'm now unable to get many of the public service jobs I want due to my 'condition'. I've been telling people I'm fine for years now, but no one believes me. I pretend to take my medication because taking it just gives me headaches, but I've now come to realise I actually am mentally ill just in a different area and they're all like "We won't give you any more medication, the ones you're taking ought to cover it." And now that we're not 14 anymore, the illness doesn't impress cute goth girls, they've all grown into regular women and think I'm a loony. But still, I'm basically lying to everyone I care about, plus the government, because I just say I've gotten better, rather than saying I was fine to begin with.
But the best thing I've ever done is...
I stay away from almost all social contact, particularly that of a meaningful nature, so I can never again infect those around me with my particular brand of self-obsessed moralising and penchant for lying wildly about myself. To this end I live alone, have no friends, and soon my girlfriend will break up with me, which is a good thing - much as it hurts to let her go - because I'm a massive tool who just covers it up and acts like a loving boyfriend, as opposed to someone she meets who doesn't have to cover things up. It's not like I cheat on her - or ever would - you literally couldn't tell me apart from a regular loving boyfriend unless you saw just how often I masturbate. But I know that inside I'm this emotionally dead monster, so I'll let her go. So i guess the best thing I've ever done is try my damndest not to get close to people. 'Cause I'm an asshole, really. |
-8
|
| #0000086 |
The worst thing I've ever done is...
I was once driving my car, i was a bit stoned, and well my mates told me to do it, they egged me on, i was like no no i wont do that im far to honest, im the good boy from Highley the one who reads books and goes to every class....
All i saw was the expression on its face as my head lamps beamed in to its frozen face, one second it was a little tiny baby bunny rabit, the next it was a red mush on my wheel arch and a 5 point bonus for the car..
But the best thing I've ever done is...
Well ofcourse ive redeemed myself in everyway, i once gave up a seat on a tram for an old lady, she wasnt even related to me, but i did it i did. I hitchhicked to Morroco for charity aswell, but then again i didnt raise any charity money i just wore the t-shirt... |
-10
|
| #0000085 |
The worst thing I've ever done is...
One of my good friends comes over to get mashed with me in my room (cool!) and brings her best friend from America (who she has fancied for about a decade). We start to drink, she wasn't getting drunk fast enough. So I crush a sleeping pill in her alcoholic drink, she passes out, I fuck her best friend in the same room and then he pisses off back to America. The End.
But the best thing I've ever done is...
Voluntary work |
-14
|
| #0000094 |
The worst thing I've ever done is...
A good band were touring the UK, but were missing out the Midlands. Some girl on Myspace invited me down to stay with her in Bournemouth. She offered to give me some money for the train ticket, and paid for the gig ticket. So, as a gentleman I accepted, and we organised that I was going to stay for a few days.
I went down, went to the gig, went back to hers and slept with her, and whilst she was asleep the next morning I legged it to the train station and went home.
Haven't spoken to her since.
But the best thing I've ever done is...
After a majorly drunken night out in first year of Uni, one of my friends from halls came back mega-drunk, throwing herself at me.
But I kindly refused as she was drunk (and I was worried about being drunk and not being ablt to get it up) and made sure she drunk a load of water and took her to her room safely and made sure she was alright.
Looking back though... |
-17
|
| #0000061 |
The worst thing I've ever done is...
I don't know if this makes me a bastard or a legend but I once had sex with my girlfriend's mother. I don't think this would have made me a sinner but then I went and bragged about it and no longer have a girlfriend. :(
But the best thing I've ever done is...
I give £2 a month to the sad looking kid on TV. |
-21
|
| #0000059 |
The worst thing I've ever done is...
been fucking one girl while going out with another... it was awesome.
But the best thing I've ever done is...
turn down a substantial amount of money for the greater good at work |
-23
|
| #0000108 |
The worst thing I've ever done is...
I've cheated on every single person I've been out with. I've never felt guilty, just pissed off when I was caught. I've dated someone to get closer to his best friend, I've been late for an anniversay dinner because I was sleeping with my ex, and I got my job as a barmaid to meet men. I am currently cheating on my partner with 4 of the customers from the pub, one of his best friends, and my ex-boyfriend.
But the best thing I've ever done is...
I do voluntary work in my spare time, both at a residential home and a nursery. I saved a child's life at the nursery 2 weeks ago, and visited her in hospital when her parents were unable to. |
-24
|
| #0000083 |
The worst thing I've ever done is...
Stole a car (a BMW 325i) and then got chased by the police, then burnt the car out and got away.
But the best thing I've ever done is...
Buy my wife flowers |
-25
|
|
|
|
